7.
Lu forgot old Kenny pretty quickly, and by the time she reached his house, her readiness to substitute him with a new friend reached full ripeness.
Instead of using the back window as she would usually do, Lu decided to use the bell, as she didn't know what kind of Kenny she’ll meet this time. Especially that it was his No 1, which is always a little clumsy and emotionally immature.
Lu knew Kenny throughout many cycles, and she didn't like this number that much. Especially when Lu was towards the end of her No 7, and Kenny was only starting. One time he was a very long in his No 1, and it was rather annoying for Lu. She felt particularly lonely in those times. Every time she wanted to tell Kenny something he didn't know, he would become angry and pushy. Immediately, a wave underneath his skin would leave a red trace all over his neck, signalling Lu that it is time to pretend she is dead until the skin gets its original colour back.
These pretended deaths were not satisfying to Lu. At first, she was fine with it and even believed she was dead for real. But that only worked until her 4th life. After that, she couldn't trick herself with fake death and had to do it for real.
Usually, No 5 was a tough one. Lu had a lot to learn and unlearn, in that particular life; it was always very long, at least it seemed very long.
Lu's favourite was No 6. Sometimes she confused No 2 and No 6 because her playful child-like energies were ruling the actions in both of them. Kenny often would get stuck longer in the beginning and move very quickly through the last lives. Lu thought that secretly he didn't like his later lives. But for Lu personally, those were her favourites. When Kenny was in his 6th or 7th, she felt most comfortable. Red rush was a rare guest in those iterations of Kenny. And as Lu was not fond of that reaction and had to snap into fake death, she mostly avoided Kenny altogether.
It was not easy for her to move away from Kenny, due to various reasons, with homelessness in the forefront of them. She thought maybe if she could explain Kenny his 7 lives, let him get to know all of them through her diaries collected over the years, he would understand that learning how to die could help to get over lives that were filled with sadness and despair much faster. And maybe he could even join her in mastering her skills of dying. Lu felt lonely sometimes.
One day Lu finally decided to give it a go and tell Kenny what she knows. On a rainy evening, she joined Kenny for dinner, who was in his No 4 at that time. She thought it was a right moment to share her research into life cycles they were living.
Kenny took out two boxes of "healthy vegan meal in less than 10 minutes for successful and conscious individuals who take care of themselves and the planet."
Chickpea spaghetti carbonara with smoked bacon-like pieces for Lu, who was always puzzled with its origin and mesmerised by the resemblance they had with bacon that once was a living creature carrying blood inside and making squeaky noises. Courgette spaghetti with roasted chicken-like slices for Kenny. It was difficult for Lu to accept the word "spaghetti" next to chickpea and courgette. In her internal library of words, these two belonged to different categories, based on their chemical composition and properties of their matter. She decided to let her internal error that was activated by seeing the two labels on the boxes, arise and focus on her goal to finally reveal his 7 to Kenny.
The meal was indeed ready in less than 10 minutes and was tastier than Lu expected. Licking the last bits of her spoon, she took out the notebook, turned to Kenny, pulled Bob closer, and was ready to begin.
Kenny, love. It might sound strange, but you and I, and possibly every creature, live in cycles of 7 lives. For years, I was observing many deaths and patterns of life, and I am almost sure that I am right on this. You are on your 4th now, so I won't go into much detail; you won't be able to get it anyway. I know that lists work best for you now, and perhaps in your next life, we can have a talk about it with some nuances. I'll give you the minimum; believe me, it is all you can take, and it is all that you need to know.
No 1: Happy blindness.
Unpleasant individual whose powerlessness and ignorance makes it wrong to hate them yet it is impossible to stay around.
Compulsion: hole-making in dresses.
Behaviours: Sucking and pulling.
Dying potential: Low, unfortunately very low.
Lu’s emotions: Irritated, angry, impatient
Lu’s responses: Withdrawal, dissociation
No 2: Impulse chasing.
Disoriented individual whose confusion about their own body boundary makes it impossible to orient and position within their environment.
Compulsion: Blender blades finger sticking.
Behaviours: Grabbing and Chewing.
Dying potential: Low with a small crack of possibility called hope.
Lu’s emotions: Fearful, nervous, alert.
Lu’s responses: Defensiveness, freeze, conflict-avoidance.
No 3: Reaction surfing.
Energised individual whose busy body and a busy mind are constantly creating new activities and tasks to fix.
Compulsion: Calendar time blocks tetris. Behaviours: Swirling and jumping.
Dying potential: Medium with lingering hope becoming a brighter flame.
Lu’s emotions: Indifferent, calm.
Lu’s responses: Observation, distancing, non-collaboration.
No 4: Myopic race.
Determined individual whose narrow focus eliminates everything around, delivering inflexible participatory dance with their environment.
Compulsion: Details collecting.
Behaviours: Proving and Pointing.
Dying potential: Very high under condition of hyper-focus mastery.
Lu’s emotions: Trapped, confused, powerless. Lu’s responses: Judgment, boundary setting
No 5: Sticky despair.
Listless individual whose disillusionment about the nature of their existence triggers nihilistic tendencies diminishing all efforts from the past lives.
Compulsion: Obstacle finding.
Behaviours: Binge and Complaining.
Dying potential: High yet wasted on whining. Lu’s emotions: Disgust, anger, disrespect.
Lu’s responses: Dismissal, blame, compassion.
No 6: Rest in motion.
Fierce individual whose vigour and readiness to engage set the universe in motion, evoking a chain of inescapably potent transformations.
Compulsion: Continuous meta-diving. Behaviours: Playing and building.
Dying potential: High with a big chunk of effortlessness supporting the process.
Lu’s emotions: Joy, excitement, uncertainty.
Lu’s responses: Cooperation, action, aliveness.
No 7: This is it.
Peculiar individual whose scrupulous connection with presence paradoxically makes them a loner and an outsider.
Compulsion: Dying.
Behaviours: Doing nothing.
Dying potential: Not relevant. Lu’s emotions: Sadness, calm, balance. Lu’s responses: Silence, forgetting.
Now you know Kenny, don’t worry if you lost me along the way; I know being in the 4th makes it not easy to keep an overview. But I will leave this page on your fridge, attach it with a large red magnet, so you know where to look. In this life, your hyper focus is your superpower.
Follow the white rabbit, chase dying."
As promised, Lu put her note on Kenny’s fridge, who was busy with cutting out coupons from the meal boxes and sticking them into a folder to later exchange for a set of sustainable Tupperware.
Lu knew Kenny was not listening; he never does in that life. She forgot why did she attempt to enlighten Kenny about the nature of their existence; perhaps she was in her 7th, but she could never know for sure.
Lu released a crystal clear tear which rolled down over her cheek to Bob’s nose who was taking his nap. Once again she glimpsed at Kenny, hoping to see his movements towards dying but no signs were pointing at it.
She noticed her hope and knew that it is definitely not her 7th, where everything simply is what is; hope ceases to be relevant. That made a lot of sense; why recently she was finding it difficult to die, seeds of hope were holding her back. Excited and energised from finding a clue, Lu melted into a content smile and joined Bob in dreaming.